Card and Coffee

The time has come to start posting on this blog again. It has been far too long.

CARD

Several weeks ago, I needed to go to Urgent Care (for a UTI, in case you're interested) since we had just moved and I didn't have a doctor yet. I have a debit card that I use specifically for medical stuff so when the time came to pay, I opened my wallet to grab it but couldn't find it. No problem, I used another card this time. I was, however, concerned about the whereabouts of my card.

Give that we had just moved, I figured it must be in all the boxes somewhere or with our big pile of assorted gift cards (etc) that were in a bag back at the hotel. So I searched and searched but it was nowhere to be found. My next plan was to log in online and cancel the existing card and order a new one (good timing since I would need to update the address anyways).

Before I got around to doing that (but several days later), I am going through my wallet, which, mind you, I had opened and looked through several times the day of the appointment, and lo and behold, there was the card, staring at me in the face, RIGHT WHERE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE.

Apparently I forgot what it looked like or didn't recognize it?????

COFFEE

One morning (last week or the week before) I was making coffee and, per usual, emptied the old grounds, ground new beans, filled the tank with water, and clicked brew. After it beeped, I excitedly went over to pour myself a cup but it looked ultra weak (!!!!!). What had I done wrong???? I knew I ground enough beans, right??? didn't I? Oh. Look. The beans were still in the grinder.......... Well, that's a mistake I'll never make again!

Several days later. Same thing.

Fruits and Pizza

*note: This entire post is not only about food, despite potential preliminary thoughts*

Concerning Fruits:
From a young age you've heard "In Confirmation one receives the 7 Gifts of the Holy Spirit" and then the speaker will continue to say, "Now it's time to learn the 12 Fruits of the Holy Spirit." With a groan the younger version of you would read through a list of these 12 words, commit them to memory, spew them out in a quiz, and promptly proceed to forget them. Alas,just as it was years ago, such is the case with many a young child nowadays. Thus, in an attempt to remedy this misfortune, the two CCD teachers of the Special Sacraments Class at St. John the Beloved decided to compose an acronym for these twelve fruits. Therefore, having collected the 12 Fruits and writing down the beginning of each word - M, F, C, J, P, P, M, C, L, G, C, B - the younger of the two teachers exclaimed, "MY FAT CHICKEN JUST PLAYED PIANO!" And thus began the greatest acronym of all times.

And so, Ladies and Gentlemen, Modesty, Faith, Charity, Joy, Peace, Patience, Mildness, Chastity, Long Suffering, Goodness, Continency, and Benignity will now be more easily remembered. :)

Concerning Pizza:
After that incredibly ingenious moment in the classroom yesterday, this same teacher, now demoted once again to a simple student, decided to test her skills in the culinary arts. Due to the fact that today is Wednesday, she planned on making pizza. After assembling the pizza maker, making the dough, cutting the summer sausage and grabbing the cheese, she made the pizza, while accidentally folding the pizza dough in half thus creating a garbled circle of a pizza. After the pizza was made, her dear younger brother tasted it and commented afterwards, "Yeah...that was like a lenten pizza...'cause it didn't really taste very good and my piece was doughy."
So much for french fashion, and french politics....without the political part...and the fashion part...and pizza is Italian.

The Tale of a Toe

There they were, about 14 high school teenagers, sitting on the gym floor. They were learning a new game called "Ladders" in which everyone sits in 2 lines, each paired up with another (think Virginia Reel) with their legs out in front of them touching the feet of the person facing them, creating a "step" to a ladder. (hence the name! :P) So, the way the game went was the team on the far end (either end works, we happened to do the end on the right side, which was me and Theresa Francis, oh the irony, Theresa and Theresa), jumps up and steps over everybody's legs, turns around, runs back around to her original spot (again, think Virginia Reel) and sits down. As soon as that person (say, Tt) sits down, the person sitting next to her (Catherine) jumps up and does the same, going over my legs at the end and then sitting down. Then whoever's sitting next to Catherine jumps up and does the same thing. Soooo I decided to take my shoes off ('cause it's easier to run in socks rather than flats, right? Of course right!). Worst. Idea. Ever. because I had on super super super comfy socks but that means that they were SUPER slippery....
On your Mark.........
Get set....
GO!
Theresa and Tt jumped up and started hopping over legs, almost perfectly tied, Tt was winning just a tad and as she turned around to run back..........WHOOP out flew her legs from under her and she fell kerPLOP on the floor. But did Theresa pause the game? Ohhh no. So up Tt got and kept running. They played about 4/5 more games like that, and then the night was done. Suddenly Tt noticed something hurting with her left toe. Huh, that was odd. So she went home, hoping it wasn't anything bad (because earlier in the summer she had been running from 3rd to Home and rolled over her left toe, hurting it, but hopefully not permanently damaging it). That night in bed it started feeling worse, but she fell asleep anyway. Now she can't walk without limping.
This has been the Tale of Tt's Toe.

Crippled Coincidence (or Ironic Invalid)

This story belongs here on M&W. It is several weeks old from my trip here to Kentucky. 

I was driving along and I notice someone walking on the side of the highway. Looked like a typical case of "car brakes down, walk to the nearest service center." But I soon notice this is no ordinary walking person but rather someone on crutches. Sad. Poor guy breaks down and can't even walk! But this is not what makes the story so mirthfully woeful. As I continue driving, I notice the next exit has a sign for a hospital. So this begs the quastion, was this merely an ironic coincidence or a tragic event in which the patient just barely didn't make it to the hospital? We will never know, but there you have it all the same to sit and ponder over all you want in search of the true answer. 

Potatoes & Prices

Dear world,
Today we have two very different, but both funny stories to pass on. The first, by my dear co-writer (who isn't really writing :)), and the second, by me, your writer.
The lights in the kitchen blazed brightly as the sun sank beneath the trees and twilight gathered over the land. The crickets started chirping, making a lovely duet as music from the piano streamed through open windows and doors, and the clank of pots and pans, being  moved about could be heard, as an accompaniment. In the kitchen, food was being taken off the stove and put in serving dishes as the table was being laden with food. The smell of sizzling steaks hot of the grill, warm potato salad pulled straight from the oven, creamed spinach bubbling merrily on the stove, were enough to make anyone's stomach growl. One of the cooks bustling about, upon seeing her companion serving himself to some of the delicious potato salad and fearing that he might not like it said, "Wait! Taste it before you eat it!"
and:
The sun beat down through the glass of the doors, on the back of a young girl as she sat at her computer. It was about 4 O'clock and she was just getting up to read some history, when the back of a book caught her glance. It read: $14.95 USA    $22.50 CANADA. Now a fact must be noted about this young girl, several months before, following in the footsteps of her dear sister, she had changed her clock to run on military time, thus at 5:19pm, her clock read, 17:19. So deranged was this poor girl's mind, that upon reading, "$14.95" she immediately thought, "Oh, $2.95"

FedEx and Fridays

Welcome back to your Weekly Entertainment Spot!
Today we have two stories to share with you:
*rat-a-tat-tat* the knock resounded through the house. Pulling the earplugs out while jumping out of the chair, she ran to open the door. Opening the door, she saw the FedEx man, who, upon seeing her, said, "Oh! Let me go get it!" and he ran out to his truck. Nervously she stood there, waiting for him to come back. Soon he appeared from inside the truck, carrying a big box of wine. When he got within earshot she said, "ohhhhh I'm not 21..." At this, he put down the box of wine and exclaimed, "You're not?! Ohh you should have told me before I brought this....I thought you were your mom!" hehe, he thought I was 21+ :)
The second story, showing the slow decay of brain cells throughout the week, and the effect of becoming delirious in anticipation of the weekend:
Me:  I've written 3/17/13

about

3 times today

*facepalm *

Lizzie:  oh haha

I totally didn't notice what was wrong

Me:  it's Friday, what can I say?

Lizzie:  for a while

Me:  hahahahahahaha

Lizzie:  I was like .....uhhhhh why is that bad?

Lizzie's Words of Wisdom

So I'm gonna try to write more posts, the thing is, a lot of stuff isn't tragic/comic....oh well, I guess I just have to start finding those in everyday occurrences!
haha okay so Lizzie's like this oracle, she's always spouting out words of wisdom and life lessons. Her most recent phrase went like so, "Finding good stuff on facebook is like combing through a thrift store...there are a lot of dumb ones..." I guess to a lot of people that's actually not very funny, but hey, I'm dead tired and it was funny soo yeah haha